Sunday, July 16, 2006

Oh, and Hillary?

The "things that inflame their base" might actually be important. You know, a woman's right to choose and keeping bigotry out of the Constitution. I know, that's not important to YOU, but some of us actually give a damn.

Fuck you and your consensus issues.

Barbara, what are you THINKING?

What possesses you, in the year 2006, when EVERYONE who voted for you wants the Republicans and Vichy Democrats out of office, to throw your weight in with Liebermann, practically the king of right-wing idiot pseudoDems?

It's obscene, it's a betrayal, and I cannot believe you just gave the finger to your constituents. Watch as your approval ratings among your base plummet. It doesn't surprise me that Feinstein would support him, seeing as they're both goosestepping bastards, but it does surprise me, coming from you.

Way to confirm that I will never vote for any Democrat again.

Shame on you, Boxer. Shame. I liked you both as a politician and a person, but I'm utterly disgusted with you now.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:
John: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."
Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His ass?"
John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the shit out of you."
Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"
John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever He wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can't until you kiss His ass."
Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..."
Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?"
Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."
John: "Then come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Do you kiss Hank's ass often?"
Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..."
Me: "And has He given you a million dollars?"
John: "Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town."
Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?"
Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and He kicks the shit out of you."
Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million dollars?"
John: "My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money."
Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?"
John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."
Me: "So what makes you think He'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?"
Mary: "Well, He gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street."
Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?"
John: "Hank has certain 'connections.'"
Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."
John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass He'll kick the shit out of you."
Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from Him..."
Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."
Me: "Then how do you kiss His ass?"
John: "Sometimes we just blow Him a kiss, and think of His ass. Other times we kiss Karl's ass, and he passes it on."
Me: "Who's Karl?"
Mary: "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's ass. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."
Me: "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss His ass, and that Hank would reward you?"
John: "Oh no! Karl has a letter he got from Hank years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."
From the Desk of Karl
Kiss Hank's ass and He'll give you a million dollars when you leave town.
Use alcohol in moderation.
Kick the shit out of people who aren't like you.
Eat right.
Hank dictated this list Himself.
The moon is made of green cheese.
Everything Hank says is right.
Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
Don't use alcohol.
Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
Kiss Hank's ass or He'll kick the shit out of you.
Me: "This appears to be written on Karl's letterhead."
Mary: "Hank didn't have any paper."
Me: "I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."
John: "Of course, Hank dictated it."
Me: "I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"
Mary: "Not now, but years ago He would talk to some people."
Me: "I thought you said He was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist kicks the shit out of people just because they're different?"
Mary: "It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right."
Me: "How do you figure that?"
Mary: "Item 7 says 'Everything Hank says is right.' That's good enough for me!"
Me: "Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up."
John: "No way! Item 5 says 'Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2 says 'Use alcohol in moderation,' Item 4 says 'Eat right,' and item 8 says 'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true, too."
Me: "But 9 says 'Don't use alcohol.' which doesn't quite go with item 2, and 6 says 'The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong."
John: "There's no contradiction between 9 and 2, 9 just clarifies 2. As far as 6 goes, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure."
Me: "Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock..."
Mary: "But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese."
Me: "I'm not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Moon was somehow 'captured' by the Earth has been discounted*. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from doesn't make it cheese."
John: "Ha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!"
Me: "We do?"
Mary: "Of course we do, Item 7 says so."
Me: "You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying 'Hank's right because He says He's right.'"
John: "Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank's way of thinking."
Me: "But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?"
Mary: She blushes.
John: "Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way. Anything else is wrong."
Me: "What if I don't have a bun?"
John: "No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong."
Me: "No relish? No Mustard?"
Mary: She looks positively stricken.
John: He's shouting. "There's no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!"
Me: "So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?"
Mary: Sticks her fingers in her ears."I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la."
John: "That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..."
Me: "It's good! I eat it all the time."
Mary: She faints.
John: He catches Mary. "Well, if I'd known you were one of those I wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the shit out of you I'll be there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's ass for you, you bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater."
With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Cross your fingers. The computer's being built as we speak.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Honoring our troops - Uh, sure.

So, Congress has apparently passed a bill to prevent demonstrations outside funerals under the guise of "honoring our soldiers". Great, just great. Let's not even bother to mention they didn't care when Phelps and his brood of toxic slugs were harrassing the families of dead gays and lesbians. (After all, they aren't important, are they?)

No, what really has me seething right now is the fact that these... I cannot think of a polite word for the people who passed this bill. These politicians have decided to mince about shouting their support for the troops while military personnel who develop PTSD or are MAIMED are discarded casually, like broken toys by a spoiled brat.

This is real, this is happening. These are people who don't conveniently die, so they can be turned into perfect, dead, unquestioning martyrs for the state, paraded about in our lives to try to silence dissent against the actions of this administration. Our culture is so unhealthy regarding death, with our posthumous polishing of the dead, all sins forgiven, all flaws forgotten - it makes it even easier to wrap yourself in their corpses to justify your abuses than using the flag.

They don't care. This is just election-year posturing by people who probably don't have the wits to know their days in power are numbered. This is the equivalent of having a yellow ribbon on your gas-guzzling SUV.

This isn't supporting the troops. This is political masturbation and I can only hope that the people who voted for it lose their power this year; it's surely too much to hope that they have any guilt for dancing in the bones of those they helped to kill.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Strangely, cruelty is preferable to indifference. At least cruelty implies that you give a damn.
Fuck. Fuck fuck FUCK.

Spent an hour in the car with a short story in my head.

Now I'm sitting in a hotel room in Las Cruces, NM, and... I can't get it down. Not a word.


EVERYTHING has gone to shit since about a week ago. I give up.

Won't be on nearly as much. Rhiannon is very demanding. We get to see her meet Medea tomorrow.

Yay. ^_^

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Most disgusting scam-spam ever...

Adopt Child Uk

Hello honest deaf,

My name is Rose Williams i work for the uk deaf manchester, i will really love to pass this information to you. Which i know i am convinced that you are really willing to take good care of 3 years old kids both boys .

Their mother and father came from unknown area and they live in 3 months ago their parents die and they left the some of 3,million pounds with the Uk deaf Finance
Department, which is Equivalent to $6,000,000.00. The 2 deafs kids are been admitted in the hospital were doctor Benedict is taking good care of them because they were included in the accident that happen few months back, to God be the glory that they were not dead like their parents.we shall love a good honest deaf or woman who can acept the2 kids and take good care of them and after 2 months the uk government
will always come to check after them..and such that person will be given the
3million pounds to take good care of the kids.Please write me back if you are intrested so that we can proceed towards securing you all the documents.

Best Regards
Rose Williams